I had the misfortune of being a victim of Britain's bad weather and consequently a victim of Britain's transport delays. I can deal, I'm in no rush. Life's good and while I'm adjusting my headphones to sit over my beanie and glasses comfortably (surely I'm not the only one with this struggle), I overhear perhaps the most cliché closet racist conversation any brown person can hear: The Indian Accent.
First things first, what is this accent? 'Cause like, I'm Punjabi and my accent is way different to that of a Tamilian or a Gujarati person. India is a subcontinent of 1.2 billion people. There is next to no chance that all of us have the same accent. I tried asking a Caucasian male and he said that perhaps it is because collectively, as a country, we would struggle with the same parts of the English language. So, I pondered that for a while and I don't think it quite explains everything. This is because the make-up of Indian languages varies and the breakdown of learning English varies from state to state. Anyway, there's far too much linguistic technicality behind all of that to explain just now but you get the gist.
Bottom line, this 'accent' doesn't exist by your definition. I apologize on behalf of over a billion Indians everywhere that we don't sound like Apu from The Simpsons or any other mass media stereotype you can find.
I've realized that most, vaguely sort of worldly aware people, with interest in the UK know there's a North and South divide. Hence, many international folks know that there's at least a difference between the guy from Manchester speaking English and the twang of the South Londoner girl. The UK is tiny in comparison to India, yet there are different accents across the country. What makes anyone think that the same logic doesn't apply to other countries? Different regions will have different accents. Or is it just that it can only apply to countries that are predominantly Caucasian? Just something to think about you know.
Back to the conversation that was at hand. Dear British Caucasians, stop being hypocritical. In the '50s, if you recall, there was a slump in your secondary sector of the economy. That was due to a lack of labour. That's when the empire issued British passports in their colonies (or ex-colonies) as incentive to up the labour force. That's why today, Britain is a multicultural place. However, that does not mean that we will adopt everything there is that is British Caucasian. We will adapt. There's a difference. That's why we will speak English, but we won't speak it in the same accent as you might. That's just one example that relates well to this situation.
- Kavandeep Sandhu